Introduction 7 Diagonal personality types are most likely to miscommunicate and are most likely to conflict. In Table 1.1, drivers and amiables are diagonal, or opposite, types. So are expressives and analytics. But if they can work things out, their respective flaws may complement each other. The driver’s temptation to overspend can balance out the amiable’s temptation to avoid the financial world altogether. The result of this canceling out may be better for each of them. Similarly, the analytic’s need to control everything may balance out the expressive’s desire to throw caution to the wind, again leaving them both in a better place. Adjacent personality types are likely to communicate well in some ways and to miscommunicate in others. In Table 1.1, driver and analytic are adjacent and so are expressive and amiable, driver and expressive, and amiable and analytic. Because, by definition, the adjacent types are partly similar and partly dissimilar, it makes sense that there’s more opportunity for good communication between them than with the diagonal types and less room for miscommunication and conflict. Identical personality types are the least likely to clash, but they don’t have the advantage of moderating each other. If you and your mother are both drivers and share the same Achilles’s heel—such as the ten- dency to compete too vigorously or to invest too aggressively—you might lead each other to excess. Much of what we talk about throughout this book will be different for the four personality types. Parents and their adult children live at different life stages, and this too affects their values, motives, and communication. We have a view of adult development that fits especially well with the four personality types. In our view, there are four stages through which adults pass as they grow older: A. Performing adults, roughly ages 40–50.5 Performing adults have spent years learning how to be successful “practitioners” of their type. Drivers, for example, have learned how to compete and succeed without being too pushy and insensitive. They have learned, for example, to be good CEOs, trial lawyers, and entre- preneurs. Amiables have learned how to be kind and helpful without becoming codependent. They have figured out how to become effective teachers, nurses, and homemakers. Expres- sives have learned how to have fun and still get the job done. Many of them have become salespeople (especially life
Previous Page Next Page