8 Peace of Mind for Your Aging Parents insurance!) and entertainers. Analytics have learned how to be thorough and precise without being too rigid—scientists, accountants, computer engineers. By midlife, maybe in their forties to fifties, people of all four types are personifying their types and performing to the best of their abilities. B. Sharing adults, roughly ages 50–60. Gradually people discover in themselves a drive to find ways to pass on their wisdom and experience to others, the beginnings of altruism. Usually, they will look for children or grandchildren with whom to share these skills and values, but sometimes they find that it’s their parents who can benefit from their altruism. As they grow in this stage, adults will gradually shift from an exclusive focus on themselves and their own needs to a more outgoing view—what they can do for other people. C. Introspecting adults, roughly sixties through mideighties. Older adults become more and more interested in assessing the totality of their lives—how successful or unsuccessful, how full of satisfac- tions, how full of disappointments and regrets. As this occupa- tion grows, they may blur the distinctions between their primary type and the other types. They may also become increasingly less interested in the legal and financial matters that younger people pursue. In many families, this may be a major challenge as you try to help your parents get their affairs in order. D. Coping adults, roughly eighties into the nineties. Many very old adults are still enthusiastic, clear-eyed, and engaged in life, but many others are more like the stereotype: confused, disengaged, sad about recent losses, and fearful of future ones. Joan Erikson sees very old age as often a period of struggle and deterioration, with depression lurking in the background. It’s also a period of very limited interest in legal and financial practicalities, which is a special challenge for the adult children who are trying to help them. Adult children, advisors, and caretakers need to be careful neither to overestimate or underestimate very old people’s capabilities. Life stage is important because you, your parents, and everyone else automatically view the world from the vantage of one’s own life stage. If, in the first stage of adulthood, you’re putting all your energy into being a successful driver (or amiable, expressive, or analytic), it’s hard to get into the skin of an old or very old parent. If you’re an old person focused on life review or a very old person dealing with terminal struggles, it’s hard to appreciate what your kids and grandkids say you ought to value. There may also be life-stage differences among younger and older siblings and other interested relatives and friends.
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