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CHAPTER ONE It’s Not Just You “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled is convincing the world he ­ didn’t exist.” —­The Usual Suspects “­Don’t take yourself so seriously. It was a joke. You have no sense of humor.” You know the script. We all know the script. The most impor­tant ­ thing to know is that you are not alone. You are not the only one. Isolation and gaslighting are the biggest allies of sexism. I wrote this book to show you that the sexism you are living has played out time and again, across dif­fer­ent countries, industries, and languages. It’s not just you. How many times have you had a “work introduction” and the man acted like you ­ were on a date? It’s not just you. How many times have you looked at a man’s face, twisted in confusion, as if you lacked the ability to com- municate adequately? It’s not just you. Changing your hair, dark clothes, no makeup, painstakingly choosing your accessories so as not to give the “wrong impression,” only to be sexu- alized anyway? It’s not just you. Being caught off guard by a vile comment, asked to fetch every­one coffee even though you hold a se­nior position? It’s not just you. Knowing that snide comment was not a joke, that it was a status move to make you look bad? It’s not just you. Telling your professional credentials to someone who acts like you are lying, or making up your work history? It’s not just you. Getting grilled on your qualifications as if you are incompetent, by a man who is incompe- tent? It’s not just you. I interviewed ­ women from nine countries. Their narratives all comple- mented the perspectives of the ­others, even though they spoke dif­fer­ent