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Introduction Now, well into the 21st ­century, ­humans have accomplished incredible innovation. We sent men to the moon and developed immunizations to guard against disease. Incredibly power­ful, increasingly compact technol- ogy can fit in a smartphone or a watch. Yet, despite this knowledge and how well we apply it, we still lack self-­understanding. We have yet to understand why the divorce rate is high, or why one depressed person goes to bed and shuts the world out while another goes and commits mass hom­ i­cide. We use ­ legal and illicit drugs to reduce anxiety and turmoil. Many of our internal and external conflicts result in emotional illnesses, soaring divorce rates, and damaged ­ family structures. ­ These are just a few ­ factors that suggest life is stressful and difficult to manage. It seems ironic that the luxuries of modern life often come with overwhelming emotional and interpersonal tensions. New insight into ­human be­hav­ior is rare. New insight into ­human understanding is even more rare. This book pres­ents both. If you are like most ­ people, you have, at times, questioned your under- standing of yourself and your be­hav­ior and have had frustrating relation- ships. If you are a parent, you may have scratched your head and wondered how your ­ children could be so dif­fer­ent from you. You may be confused about why you are attracted to ­ people who are distant or abusive. You may won­der why you have been divorced. What went wrong? Every­thing seemed so good at the beginning of the relationship. If ­ you’ve been mar- ried more than once, you may won­der why your spouses share similari- ties. You are not alone. ­These relationship difficulties are nothing to be ashamed of. The ways we relate to each other have changed ­ little over time. The ear- liest written lit­er­a­ture shows ­ people behaving in many of the same ways