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8 Dealing with Highly Anxious People call from Selena. There were times when Cassie did not want to answer the phone or meet with Selena because Selena was almost always worried about something, and nothing Cassie said or did seemed to make a dent in her worries or continual worrying about things over which she had little or no control. Following are some common behaviors and attitudes for many Worriers. • Constantly stays alert in anticipation of future and/or possible vague dan- gers from all directions. They can be very imaginative about unrealistic possibilities. • Usually perceives others as unable to care for themselves, or as not having the resources to adequately take care of themselves. They can constantly worry that it is their responsibility to take care of others who are capable of taking care of themselves. • Feels that they should or must protect others from unknown dangers. Again, they do not recognize the limits of their responsibility for capable others. • Expects the worse and does not appreciate it when the best happens, or when the worse does not happen. It’s almost as if they revel in misfortunes, disasters, or troubles. Worse is that they cannot appreciate good fortune or outcomes. • Dithers in decision making or problem solving. They are so worried about pos- sibilities and imaginary disaster that they cannot think clearly enough to create or see solutions or alternatives or to make decisions. Worse for some is that they do make a decision and then worry about that decision in every way possible. When they worry they make many associations and that extends their concerns to many things that are not under their control. Their thoughts can hop from topic to topic. The Micromanager The members of Brad’s team were very productive, but many of those mem- bers were irritated that Brad checked up on their work and progress so frequently. While his expertise was helpful at times, it also seemed that he did not have con- fidence in them to do their assignments or to do them well. He checked with each person on the team several times a day, either by phone, e-mail, or appearing in person. He wanted to know in detail what they were doing, and why, and how they were doing whatever it was. Some team members liked to talk about what they were doing, while others wanted to be left alone to do their work. Brad’s micromanaging was also evidenced at home for such tasks as loading the dishwasher. He demanded that the dishwasher be loaded a particular way and checked to ensure that it was done the way that he wanted. He also insisted that other family members attend to other household tasks with the detail that he wanted.