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x Preface Regarding talent realization, the parent of an Olympic figure skater said to me “If someone had told me ten years ago that we’d be where we are today, I’d have not believed it.” Another said of her son that “When [he] started skating, we didn’t know he was going to be this good. And we weren’t even hoping he’d be this good. It just wasn’t on our radar.” Regarding parents’ uncertainty about what to do, the parent of a world-champion baton twirler told me “It’s all trial and error. You don’t really know how it’s going to turn out. Are you doing the right thing? You don’t ever really know.” The parent of a renowned musician said, “It’s been a big fat accident. We wish we had known more. Did we get in the way? Did we hold him back? We didn’t know enough.” An Olympic figure skater’s parent added “I wish there had been a manual about what was going to happen to us and what to do.” Hopefully, this book can relieve uncertainty, reduce misguided trials and errors, and be that missing guide or manual parents seek for nurturing children’s talents. Nurturing Children’s Talents is certainly not a book aimed at overbearing tiger moms and helicopter parents hell-bent on raising a talented child— parents who push, pressure, squeeze, and suffocate their children. They were never among the parents I interviewed. That’s because the child invariably drives the talent train, and the fuel is the child’s intrinsic motivation and passion, not the parent’s hopes or prodding. Parents can help navigate the train, but they can’t supply the steam. And the parents I interviewed knew and lived that. Speaking of tiger moms and helicopter parents, they have given involved parents pause and have also given parents who go the extra mile a bad rap. I am among the psychologists who believe that parents need to push back against the negative overinvolvement image. I agree with psychologist Mad- eline Levine, who contends that the optimal parent is one who is involved, responsive, and sets high expectations and that such sweet-spot parenting produces children who are academically, psychologically, and socially more adept than children whose parents sit on the sidelines. “Many of us find our- selves drawn to the idea that with just a bit more parental elbow grease, we might turn out children with great talents and assured futures. Is there really anything wrong with a kind of ‘over-parenting lite’?”1 Nothing at all. Every day parents are indeed pushing back against the overinvolvement stigma because they love their children, want what’s best for them, and believe that great things are possible. This leaves parents seek- ing expert advice on parenting like never before. But most parenting books I’ve seen tell parents how to fix problems rather than how to help children flourish. This also leaves parents seeking life-enhancing opportunities: pre- schools, music lessons, soccer academies, cooking classes, chess clubs, nature organizations, private tutoring, and much more. But my research for this book indicates that simply turning children over to expert teachers and coaches is not the path toward talent development.